When I was kid I dreamed for a better future. Being a doctor and have a lot of money so that I can have anything that I want , give all the money to my parent and help the poor. I never thought that being an adult had to face difficult part before achieving something good.
The reason why I always hope I can turn back the time and being a kid forever.
Yeah, it might not be that way.
Too much dreams and dramas.
Nobody know our future.
When i was 15 i dreamed to be an English Professor.
I had made a plan to further my studies in English literature.
After the SPM results was announced I got an offer from UITM .
Such a dream.
But I refused to go and went to Jordan.
Let the reason be with me forever.
Alhamdulillah I passed the degree in Islamic Economics and Banking.
Only Allah's know how was me trying hardest to finish the studies.
And finally succeeded graduating from Yarmouk University with a good grade.
For now, I'm still at home keep and eyes of my father who was sick due to the accident last 2 years. But, it might not be the reason why I've to give up with all my dreams. I believe when we put family first then Allah will do the rest. The rezqi will coming to you bit by bit. Sometimes you do not realise the ni'mat you're having now is rezqi from The Almighty.
There's time where I got jealous with people who don't have to study diligently yet excel in their studies.
Also for now when I saw people keep posting their daily life going to work, treating family with their first salary while i was at home doing the same chores everyday.
Astaghfirullah, Allahumma Salli Ala Muhammad .
For me, I have to be smart in dealing with my emotion. Don't underestimate your ability.
Do your favourite activities, explore new things, keep in touch with people and so on . To be honest after scheduling the activities in my daily planner I feel positive and productive.
Be thankful with what you have in life.
If you don't thank Allah for every smile , then you've no right to complain about every tear .
I don't know who i'll be , and i don't know where i'll be , but i know that Allah will choose whats good for me.
Believe that Allah will give you something better . Its not about luck . Each person is different so , please stop making a comparisons.
Forget the past that made you cry , focus on the present that completes your smile, because Allah's know what is better for you.